I Don’t Work. I Just Exist and Receive.
A soft girl’s guide to feeling safe in the stillness (and the ache of getting everything you dreamed of)
“Creativity requires stillness, a space to hear your own soul.”
- Clarissa Pinkola Estés
I started writing here because I craved a space to express beauty in its most natural, unhurried form. Just the art of being witnessed in the truth of my feminine experience. It’s so chic, really, to think of a woman sitting with her latte, reading something that opens her for the sake of presence in her silk robe.
It’s such a gorgeous habit to cultivate girlies. Letting words pull you back into the moment softens you and rewires the nervous system. And I swear, the energy of money finds delayed gratification so attractive.
This has become one of my favorite ways to end the day after a warm bath ritual. It reminds me that everything I create, and everything I share isn’t work. It’s who I am.
And the more I rest and refine my energy, the more everything expands. It’s an entirely different paradigm and it requires an entirely different nervous system.
This space is for the woman who finds clocking into someone else’s dream a slow death of her soul. The one who feels allergic to rushing. The one who knows she wasn’t sent to earth to hustle and grind, but to be the art she is. Maybe her art is writing or speaking or designing beautiful things. Maybe it’s her beautiful skin, body, or rare aura. Maybe her art is homemaking, nurturing, loving deeply. It doesn’t matter. The art of noticing what’s already there is where you’ll find your natural gifts and dream life. When you stop performing and doing what someone else said you should do.
I know there are women who will say this is delusional, or self-indulgent.. that femininity makes you weak. But this frequency is “out of touch” to a world addicted to pain, struggle, and sacrifice. Today, I believe they call this hustle. And this space isn’t for women who need to be convinced, or enjoy wasting their time anyway. I write (and podcast) for women who already know there’s another way. Oh, and for the woman who understands she’s not here to escape the game, or even free herself from it .. she’s here to master herself as a player in it. It’s about asking yourself what game is worth playing and what path actually honors who I am?
Knowing who you are also comes with the knowledge that just cause someone else is doing it, doesn’t make it right for you. We’re all in this to align with what’s right for us as individual expressions of the one true source.
So, this is for the women who create from a space of fulfillment & pleasure, wear silk robes while channeling billion-dollar downloads, and manifesting their dreamiest everything ...but also secretly fantasizing about disappearing into a villa in the South of France, changing their name to something mysterious, and writing poetry with sea salt in their hair with no WiFi in sight.
If you love beauty, money, mysticism, femininity, and a little bit of main character energy... you're home ♡. You can find exclusive access to my mystery school and podcast updates here only. It’s my email list, which is much different than reading an article.
This space is more like us sitting barefoot on the terrace, post-matcha and post-manifestation dissecting metaphysics and relationship energetics between bites of a croissant we didn’t pay for, iykyk.
“I finally received my dream. Why do I still feel this ache?”
What no one tells you about the soft life is it can feel unsettling when your body has never known this much ease, or ease at all.
If you spent most of your life overfunctioning, overgiving, overthinking, and doing the most just to prove you’re worthy, then stillness won’t feel safe at first. It might even feel suspicious and empty. You’ve wired your body for the chase, the fixing, the needing. So when the payoff comes (if it comes) you’re like… this is it? boring. what’s next?
It’s def a privilege problem, yes. But privilege doesn’t negate the ache of arrival and it
doesn’t make you less human.
Manifestation is sacred like that. It exposes you and brings the things you begged for to your doorstep and then watches as you feel really, really uncomfortable under the weight of receiving it. Because the dream was never the thing you really wanted. It was always the feeling you thought the thing would give you.
You think you want 7 or 8 figures until you realize what you really wanted was to feel safe in the power of your identity and trust that it wouldn’t make you unlovable.
You thought you wanted the proposal but you actually wanted to feel chosen.
You thought you wanted the car, the AMEX, the designer but what you longed for was permission to move through the world freely and take up space without apologizing.
And, as a Sagittarius rising, this hits. Freedom is our midnight dream. And I still love beautiful things, I always will, but when you’ve grown up with limitations, what you really crave isn’t the object, it’s the liberation from perceived limitations.
What we really want… is never the thing. It’s the felt sense we believe it gives us.
The money is never about numbers and it will never be about numbers .. it’s safety in the body. And you don’t have to give any of that up either. You just have to get real about what the dream is really about and free yourself from the illusion of wanting.
Once you feel it first, it stops running you, and you stop reaching for things to fix what only presence can touch.
Soft living .. real soft living is a nervous system game, and it’s not a game everyone desires to play. But you do, and that’s why you’re reading this. Even if you’re not in your dream reality yet, your body doesn’t know the difference and can easily be conditioned to believe it’s in the dream reality now. It doesn’t operate in linear time. In fact, nothing truly does. Time is relative to the story we use to make reality work for us.
But presence collapses timelines. And something ancient and feminine and wild is calling you back to that presence so that time can finally begin working for you, not against you. Maybe you’ve read all the right books or articles that keep you up all night, meditated through a thousand audio tracks... and, here you are. All because you’ve developed what mystics call a gravitational pull toward deeper consciousness. You’ve tasted enough of the world to know there’s another layer underneath it all and that layer doesn’t sustain itself on suffering.
I’m not exactly the kind of woman you stumble across by accident either. My world is private and not “out there” for everyone’s access. It invites the right eyes. Soft living requires you to stop micromanaging your future like a spreadsheet, and start letting your body trust what’s already available to you rather than trying to earn it so hard.
“Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?”
—Lao Tzu
To stay in the feminine, in your beauty, your vision, you have to let your body trust and rest in it. That’s the game we’re playing. You have to stop micromanaging your future with plans and to do lists, and release the next milestone or result as the savior.
And the good news is the ache dissolves the moment you stop resisting the present moment and start accepting it as all there is.
It’s the portal through which more abundance naturally finds you. I get asked all the time, “Rose, how do I attract abundance from my gifts… without sacrificing time or pleasure?”
Start here. What do people always compliment you on? What lights you up even when no one’s watching? What does the world need more of that only you can offer in your way?
Your gift is already there, in the present, just waiting on you to notice it.
The magic doesn’t live in the chase, or the next upgrade, but here in your breath, slow mornings, and the warm towel after your shower. In the way you let yourself be before you do.
love & magic,
Rose
Very triggering, in the most beautiful way. I loved it